


"Who Moans for Adonais?"

by LovelyZelda



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-02
Updated: 2010-05-02
Packaged: 2017-10-09 06:13:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyZelda/pseuds/LovelyZelda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/st_tos_kink/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/st_tos_kink/"><b>st_tos_kink</b></a>: <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/st_tos_kink/485.html?thread=362213#t362213">Kirk is making porn tapes featuring Spock and McCoy and selling them to the crew.</a></p><p>And then he gets caught.</p><p>Similar to <a href="http://lovelyzelda.livejournal.com/130082.html#cutid1">XI!McCoy/New Vulcan</a>, I'm playing a questionable consent issue for laughs.  And smut.  Lots of smut.  Okay, maybe it's not really "funny ha ha" so much as "funny oh god yes".</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Who Moans for Adonais?"

"Captain, I was wondering if..."  Sulu cleared his throat.  "Uhh, anything new today?"

"You're in luck, Mr. Sulu," said Kirk.  The gym wasn't the most convenient place to operate a small business from, but an entrepreneur had to make certain sacrifices (and it was practically impossible to find a time when neither Spock nor McCoy was on the bridge with him).  "_Day of the Dick_.  Last one."

"Make up sex?"

Kirk laughed.  "Mr. Sulu, I believe it can't be considered make up sex if the fight never actually stops." 

Sulu looked hungrily at the tape.  "Really, captain?"

"Does this mean you don't trust me?  And given the people involved, is it really all that surprising?" 

"Captain, when you say fighting..."

"Well, lieutenant," Kirk lowered his voice in leaned in, "you may recall our recent guest who had a very unfortunate effect on humanoid tempers.  It happened to catch Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy together and...I don't want to say too much.  Are you interested?"

"Oh, I'm interested, captain!"

"A little bit higher than usual," said Kirk.  "And I don't believe I need to remind you: no copies."

"Of course, captain," said Sulu, his eyes never leaving the tape. 

"After all, this isn't the 21st century," said Kirk.  "I think we've all learned to have a bit more respect for our media.  And I like to think of these little films as...exclusive." 

No one else had reported that the Aphrosian entity had inspired anything other than anger, but then again Spock and McCoy's reports on the incident had been lacking in specifics. 

Spock and McCoy's official logs had often involved a bit of creative writing--Kirk always smiled when he heard one of their code phrases for "got into a fight on the bridge" (and because by the end of a particular incident there'd always be as much praise for each other as respectfully-disagree-with's and engaged-in-discussion's.)

They'd both been quite thorough on the theorized workings of the entity, and extremely brief on its effects.  Kirk would have been interested to know their opinion--as scientists, of course--on why the same influence that made fistfights break out across the ship had made them yell at each other while they had sex against a wall (which wasn't even that out of character Spock and Bones).

He'd watched the tape several times--for research purposes, of course--to try to figure that out.  And because it was Spock and Bones literally tearing each other's clothes off while they went through everything they disliked about each other.  It was Spock holding Bones against a wall and fucking him while Bones clung to him and snarled in his ear, "And that's not even what I hate the most about you."

As usual, he'd had to do a bit of editing because it was also Spock's eyes widening and the quiet, horrified way he said, "The entity," as he took in the bruises on McCoy's arms and the still-damp teeth marks on his own hands.  And the way McCoy looked at him, licked his lips, and cupped Spock's face in his hands as he said, "You stop now, and I'm really going to be pissed at you."  (That sort of thing wouldn't sell well, and Kirk wasn't willing to share that aspect of Spock and McCoy with the crew anyway.)

After careful study, Kirk decided it'd been something McCoy had said--

When the entity first got hold of them, they'd circled each other for awhile, starting with each other's work on the entity before expanding their complaints to the entire time they'd known each other. (And Kirk had done some audio editing since the entity had made them as honest as they were angry. For whatever reason Kirk's customers had never seemed to pick up that Spock and McCoy tended to get pissed at each other in a way that only friends could.)

Spock's hands had been shaking, probably from trying and failing to suppress his anger, and anyone who knew him well would've known to keep their distance.  McCoy had taken a swing at him. 

"God damn Vulcan," McCoy had said when Spock had caught his hand.  "You're so repressed you don't know whether to fight me or fuck me."

And that was when Spock had taken a shaking breath, pulled McCoy closer by his hand, and practically snarled, "Only an illogical human brain could be prone to such confusion."

McCoy had given him a vicious smile, even though he was well aware that Spock could've easily broken his fingers. "Then I know you're not confused, you green blooded asshole." His other hand had darted between them to grab Spock by the balls. "You've always got to be right, don't you? Being confused would require feeling something."

"I fail to understand how a being who can obviously remember a wealth of biological and anatomical information can consistently fail to remember that Vulcans do not lack emotion."

"You have no idea how much your little 'I'm beyond emotion' routine pisses me off."

"Doctor, I am able to sense the emotions of any being I come into physical contact with. I allow you and the captain unheard of liberties that neither one of you has any appreciation for." Spock had pulled him even closer and said in a low, dangerous voice, "I know exactly what you are feeling and how to make you feel it."

They'd glared at each other for what felt like ages, then McCoy had asked in a harsh whisper, "So you want to fight or you want to screw?"

Kirk was grateful they'd chosen the latter. 

***

"Who tops?" asked Uhura.

"Do you have a preference, lieutenant?" asked Kirk.

"I'm...I'm not really sure, captain," said Uhura.  "I just don't like the idea of Mr. Spock being too aggressive."

"This might be more to your interests, lieutenant.  They switch."

"How much?"

"You're in luck," said Kirk, "since it just happens to be a Tuesday, and on Tuesdays it's half off for our most attractive female officers."

She looked him up and down, her eyes lingering on his exercise tights.  "So I noticed."

***

Kirk grinned at the screen.  For whatever reason his customers enjoyed McCoy's interest in Spock's ears almost as much as the good doctor seemed to enjoy being interested in them, but it was difficult to get a good angle (especially when the actors didn't play to the camera because they didn't technically know about it).  This time, however, he'd managed to get an almost perfect shot--McCoy was behind Spock, giving a great deal of attention to one of those pointed ears while reaching around him to stroke his dick.

Spock arched his back and made that practically silent gasp/moan that meant he was having a very good time.  McCoy nibbled his way down from the tip of Spock's ear to his earlobe, then said something Kirk couldn't quite hear.  Which was probably for the best--Kirk was positive he'd heard the d-word, and McCoy was smiling in a way that made it seem very likely.

Kirk rewound the tape.  McCoy nibbled Spock's earlobe again and whispered something that sounded very much like, "You've got to be more careful, darlin."

And Kirk remembered he'd been stupid enough to forget that this would've been right after Spock had been injured on Libra VII. 

"A logical risk," said Spock.

McCoy licked his ear until Spock said something in Vulcan.  Kirk had no idea what it meant.  Knowing Spock and McCoy it could've been Vulcan for "stupid asshole", but Spock said it like it was "sweetheart".  McCoy laughed and said, "Give me your hand so I can suck your fingers."

"Doctor--"

"I am a..." McCoy said the same Vulcan phrase in Spock's ear.

"Your accent is terrible," said Spock.

"Then I promise I'll only suck your fingers in English."  McCoy ran the hand that wasn't around Spock's dick over his chest.  "Just want to make you feel better, darlin."

"You are quite stubborn, doctor."  Spock held his hand out over his shoulder.

Kirk licked his fingers before reaching up his shirt and tracing his nipple.  This probably would not be one of his more popular selections, but it had a great deal of potential for his private use.

He watched McCoy suck Spock's fingers.  Once Spock started moaning--still low and quiet--Kirk moved his hand onto his own cock. 

"Now what the hell are we going to do with you?" McCoy asked softly, his lips brushing against Spock's wet fingers as he talked. 

"Doctor, please..."

McCoy kissed Spock's knuckles.  "Can't believe you finally learned some manners, Spock.  But after all this hard work...I think you've got to be holding out on me."  He slowly pulled Spock's index finger into his mouth and sucked it.  "So I think you're not going to come until I tell you to."  McCoy bent down and kissed Spock's neck.  "Spock."

"Yes, doctor."

McCoy sighed against Spock's neck.  "You remember what to say if you change your mind?"

"Yes, doctor," Spock said as McCoy sucked on his middle finger.  "It will not be necessary."

Kirk bit back a moan.  He knew how sensitive Spock's hands were--he'd made use of that Vulcan trait on many occasions--and he also knew what it was like to have Bones pressed up against him and that the good doctor was very good with his hands.  Even with Vulcan discipline Spock had to be very close, and Kirk was fairly sure he'd still be able to keep this particular promise.

He watched as Spock, at McCoy's instructions, took the lube and fingered himself with one hand and stroked McCoy with the other.  "You enjoying that, Spock?"

"Yes, doctor."

"Just remember not to enjoy it too much."

Kirk didn't know if he'd be able to outlast either one of them as he watched McCoy enter Spock.  "How you feeling?"

"I am quite well, doctor," said Spock.

He was able to see Spock, stretched out across McCoy's bed while the human moved in and out of him.  Kirk enjoyed being able to see most of Spock, but he would've liked to get a better look at McCoy's ass.

But you couldn't have everything, and it was worth it when McCoy leaned in, and Kirk could see his lips part and a little glimpse of his tongue as he kissed Spock.  McCoy pinned Spock's hands over his head and said, "Tell me."

"I am...I am quite aroused, doctor," said Spock.

"You're just going to have to be patient, Spock."

"It is difficult."  He squeezed McCoy's hands.  "If I am successful?"

"No if, Spock."

"I believe it is customary to receive some sort of reward for performing as you have asked."

McCoy's stifled moan and his smile were almost enough to push Kirk over the edge.  "You mean you want to know what you'll get for being a good boy?"

"Please enlighten me, doctor."

"Well...I guess it would have to be something special.  If you don't disappoint me."

"I assure you I will not, doctor."

"You look like you've got something in mind."  Kirk wished he could've heard whatever Spock whispered in his ear because McCoy moaned, "Oh, _god_, Spock," and kissed him even harder than before.  "That for you or for me?" Hopefully he'd be able to hear it the next time he watched the tape.

Kirk watched McCoy on top of Spock, cursing the fact that he'd been on duty at the time and that they never thought to do these sorts of things with him.

"Please," Spock said in a ragged whispered.

"Almost," said McCoy.  "Just as soon as I do."

"I do not know if--"

"You said you'd listen to me, Spock.  And I just told you, you're not going to come until I do."  He let go of one of Spock's hands to stroke his cheek.  "You know it's much better when you listen to me, don't you, darlin?"

"Of course, doctor."

Kirk didn't know if he wished he was the one being listened to or the one trying to be good.  Maybe it would depend on which one of them it was or if it was both of them.  If it was both of them and depending on what they asked of him, Kirk had a feeling he wouldn't be getting his reward (not that he could currently think of a reward that would be better than both Spock and Bones at once).

He came in his hand before McCoy and Spock did--at what looked to be exactly the same time. 

***

Kirk had enjoyed the post-Libra VII tape--or _The Counter-Cock Incident_ as he'd decided to title it--a great deal.  Scotty disagreed.

"It's just a bit odd, captain," said Scotty.

"What can I say?  The good doctor and Mr. Spock apparently have very active imaginations," said Kirk.

"It's not that. It's just...well, I don't feel right," said Scotty.  "Watchin' 'em when they're under some kind of mind control."

"Mind control?"

"Captain, it's got to be mind control," said Scotty.  "Or that's not Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy."

"I suppose I can give you a partial refund," said Kirk.

"D'ye have anymore copies of _Day of the Dick_?" asked Scotty.  "Sulu says it's quite good."

"I'll see what I can do," said Kirk.

***

Kirk lay on his bed, idly stroking himself as he watched his latest recording.  Spock was fingering McCoy, and they were both breathing heavily (but not quite in unison)  Spock stretched his other hand up towards McCoy's face and pressed his fingers to the meld points as soon as McCoy nodded.

Kirk thought about possible titles--he was leaning towards either _A Piece of the Ass_ or _Let That Be Your Last Fingerbang_\--but mostly he was thinking about the noise Spock and Bones made in the backs of their throats and the way McCoy's eyes rolled back as soon as the meld kicked in.

He started to take jerking himself off more seriously as Bones started to do the same thing.  Kirk couldn't tell if that was Spock's doing or not, but they both moaned at the same time as Spock fingered Bones and Bones stroked himself, and Kirk wondered what would've happened if he'd happened to walk in the room then.  Clearly they could've used another set of hands since Spock's dick looked quite lonely.  Especially as Spock moved McCoy's hand away with his tongue and started to lick his dick in long, wet strokes, sometimes moaning with Bones as he--

Kirk's door slid open.  Kirk scrambled to zip up his pants and think of some way to hide a very obvious, extremely distracting hard on.  His door had been locked, so the only people who could've walked right in were the ones with the right overrides.

"What's the emergency?" he asked, trying to look casual and unaroused as he switched off the view screen.

McCoy held up a tape.  "I'm about to put you in the hospital."

"Bones, I can--"

"I think you must be mistaken, captain," said McCoy.  "That's something my friends call me."

"I can explain," said Kirk.  "It...what's on the tape?"

"This is a copy of _For the World Is Horny and I Have Touched The Guy_," said McCoy.  "I've been told it's much better than _The Counter-Cock Incident_, but nowhere near as good as _The Enemy Within_."

"_The Enemy Within_ has been the all time bestseller," said Kirk.  "Although I've been getting a lot of requests for _Day of the Dick_."

McCoy threw the tape at him. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Bones, I'll make it up to you," said Kirk.  "But to be fair, you and Spock never said you didn't want me taking visual recordings of you having sex and selling it to the crew."

McCoy stared at him.  Kirk briefly thought that the tactic of making a completely ridiculous statement had worked (and maybe they could watch the rest of _Let That Be Your Last Fingerbang_ together and, well, if one thing lead to another...)

"Damn it, Jim!  Anyone with any basic human decency would know we shouldn't have to tell you that!"

"At least I'm not giving it away for free," said Kirk.

"That's a first for you," McCoy muttered

"And what about Spock?" asked Kirk.  "I'm sure he'd have come with you if he objected."

"He's looking for the cameras," said McCoy.

"Oh.  Well, there must be something I can do to make it up to you.  I'd understand completely if you felt you needed to bend me over this desk and administer a severe spanking.  For the sake of our friendship."

McCoy rolled his eyes.  "Jim, I'm too god damned mad at you to give you what you want."

Kirk leaned over the desk.  "You did offer to put me in the hospital."

"That was a threat, not an offer.  And knock it off.  It's not like I've never seen your ass before."

"Bones, I promise you it'll make you feel better."

The door slid open again.  Spock raised an eyebrow.  "He wants to be punished," said McCoy.

"I think I deserve it," said Kirk.

"I would have to agree, doctor," said Spock.

"No, that's what he wants," said McCoy.

"Spock, you think I deserve a spanking, don't you?" asked Kirk.

Spock looked at McCoy.  "It is a customary Earth reprimand, isn't it?"

"You know he gets off on that kind of thing. Who've you been selling these too, Jim?"

"Just the crew, Bones," said Kirk.  He leaned into the desk, which was not as good an idea as it'd seemed.  "What about one lash for every crew member?"

"Where's the rest of the tapes, Jim?"

"Oh, there's--"

"I'm thinking one lash for each tape might be a good start."

They took the tapes and left.  Kirk finished himself off to _T'peb and Assorted Others Perform Sexual Acts to Afford Transport to Shi'Kahr_, but it just wasn't the same.

***

Kirk had tried apologizing--Bones had been avoiding him, and Spock had told him that he could not be hurt or experience a betrayal of trust in a way that meant he could and planned to keep doing so for the near future.

He needed to find a way to near-fatally injure himself that wasn't too painful.  That would bring Bones around, and Spock usually didn't want to seem more stubborn than McCoy (especially if it could be considered an emotional response).

Unfortunately, the locals they encountered on Cadmus II were more than happy to oblige.

Kirk was about to remind the landing party to remain calm when he realized he was the reason why McCoy had just pulled off his uniform shirt and that it was his blood soaking into it.  "You're going to be fine, Jim," McCoy said as he flipped open his communicator with a hand that was also covered with Kirk's blood.  "Landing party to _Enterprise_."

Other than feeling lightheaded, Kirk didn't feel as concerned about this as he suspected he should.  "Nice arms, Bones.  Have you been working out?"

"What's taking so long, _Enterprise_?" McCoy shouted into the communicator.  "I've got an injured man down here!"

He leaned--well, slumped against Bones.  "Sorry, doc," he said.  "I know this isn't the best time."

"It's all right, Jim," said McCoy. They were suddenly in the transporter room.  "We've got to stand up--just hold on to me and Conners."

He didn't remember much after that.  When he woke up in sickbay, McCoy was standing by the bed.  "Thanks for giving me an excuse to get out of there," Bones said.  "Not my kind of planet."

"Everyone else make it out?" asked Kirk.

McCoy nodded.  "You're not going to be able to pull any stunts like that for awhile--you just cleaned me out of AB negative."  He leaned against the wall and added, "I'm still pretty pissed."

"You didn't get out the catgut and needle, did you?"

"I'm going to let that one go only because I know you're doped up right now."

"Sorry, Bones.  For--"

"But I figure in our line of work I've either got to start trying to make up or risk never getting a chance to.  I think Spock might be slightly more incapable of holding a grudge than he was a couple hours ago."

"You know, I'm willing to take my punishment."

McCoy snorted.  "I'll bet you are," he said.  "It'd be more effective just to ignore you."

"But, Bones, that wouldn't be any fun."

***

Kirk was on his knees and incredibly disappointed he couldn't blow both Spock and McCoy at the same time.  He'd given it a good effort, but it was probably time to accept that it was more trouble than it was worth.  He decided to start with Spock in his mouth and McCoy in his hand.

He watched them--McCoy tongued the outer edge of Spock's ear and nibbled on his earlobe.  Spock gripped the back of Kirk's head with one hand and squeezed McCoy's hand with the other.  They kissed, and Kirk wondered if he'd be able to take all of Spock (even with all the practice he'd been putting in).

He was absolutely certain he was considered recovered and fit for duty since Spock was fucking his mouth, and McCoy was egging him on whenever he'd take a break from kissing Spock or gently tugging on his lower lip with his teeth.  (Kirk was also reasonably sure McCoy wouldn't keep referring to a sick man as a slut, greedy or otherwise.)

Kirk swallowed everything Spock gave him, and McCoy came on his face soon after.  Spock stroked Kirk's cheek, and Kirk licked McCoy's come off his fingers.  He considered begging and what he should beg them for--Kirk was hard and there was come drying in his hair and Spock and McCoy were kissing each other again while he sucked Spock's fingers clean.

"Spock..."  Since this had to be almost entirely McCoy's doing (Spock never treated him like this in bed, which was a damned shame), it made the most sense to try to appeal to Spock.

"I suggest you focus on the task at hand, Jim," said Spock.

"Too bad you're down there, Jim," McCoy said as Spock kissed and sucked his neck.  "God, that's good--just like that, darlin."

"Leave your hands where they are or we will have to restrain you," said Spock.

"You say it like that, and we're going to have to tie him up."

"Yes, doctor, but I believe we intended to do that regardless of the captain's behavior."

"I'm behaving myself, Bones," said Kirk.

McCoy tilted his head back and thrust his hips towards Spock.  "Is he?"

"At the moment.  What do you recommend if he does not?"

"Smack him.  How's he doing on your fingers?"

"I find it a most inadequate effort."

"Shit, Spock, we're not going to be able to fuck him if he doesn't start doing a better job."

"I agree, doctor."

Kirk sucked three of Spock's fingers and slowly started to reach for himself.  He was pleasantly surprised that Spock actually slapped him.

"I think we will need to restrain him," said Spock.

"You want to hold him down or you want to tie him?"

McCoy was grinding against Spock's leg.  Kirk earned another slap even before Spock said, "I am interested to see the binding method, so I believe I would prefer to hold him down."

Spock pushed him onto his back and held him in place with one hand.  "Tell me when he gets close," said McCoy.  He massaged one of Spock's hands and stroked Kirk--who would've loved to be able to sit up as he watched Spock and McCoy kiss each other over him.

"Now, doctor," said Spock.

McCoy pulled his hand away and stood up.  "I'll get the rope."

Kirk was slowly realizing what'd just happened.  "Bones, you can't--"

"Course I can, Jim."  McCoy looked thoughtfully at him.  "Better move him to the bed.  He gives you any trouble, drop him."

Having just spent a great deal of time on the floor, Kirk decided not to chance it.  And being picked up and carried by Spock while they were both stark naked was much more pleasant than actually walking.

McCoy tied his wrists together, both palms facing inward.  Kirk could probably have done something with it if they hadn't put him on his knees.

"I've heard orgasm denial can have serious medical consequences," said Kirk.

"You'll live," said McCoy.

Kirk couldn't tell if he was being teased as Spock slowly pushed himself in.  Probably--Spock had a fairly good knowledge of what Kirk could and couldn't take, and he was frequently rough with McCoy.

"How's it going, Jim?"  McCoy sat in front of him, just within reach of Kirk's tied hands.

"Mr. Spock seems to have broken character."

"Spock can fuck you however the hell he wants," said McCoy.

"You know, Bones, there are two of us."

"You been watching those tapes you made, Jim?"

"Yes, and I'd appreciate it if I could get those back."

McCoy nodded.  "I thought you would.  Since you don't have the sense to just come over and ask to join in, I figured you'd be watching them a lot."  He shifted position and stroked one of Kirk's nipples.  "Now, you ever see Spock the way you are right now?" 

"No, Bones, I--"

McCoy grabbed him by the hair.  "That's because Spock actually has some god damn dignity."

"Spock, there are two of us." 

"There are two of us, Jim," said Spock.  "However, I do not think I would be able to match the good doctor's ingenuity.  And I am afraid I have to agree with his earlier conclusion that you are a 'greedy slut'."

"Thank you, Spock," said McCoy.

"My pleasure, doctor."

Kirk was simultaneously thrilled and terrified.  If Spock and McCoy were talking to each other like that--hell, if they were agreeing with each other--he was completely at their mercy.

"Jim, it sounds like you're saying you're not satisfied with Mr. Spock," said McCoy.

"I need more, Bones.  I'll do anything."

"It's good to see you like this, Jim.  I think," he ran his fingers through Kirk's hair, "you owe me something from earlier."

"Of course, Bones."

"But this isn't really about what I want, is it, Jim?"

Their eyes met.  Kirk absolutely _ached_.  He would've given anything for Spock to fuck him into the mattress--so he could just get even that amount of friction--but ideally McCoy would've been underneath him or pressed up against him or anything other than just sitting there smirking at him.

"Bones, I _need_ you."

McCoy's smirk turned into a genuine, warm smile.  (Kirk was briefly afraid he'd blown the game and that his friend might kill the wonderful, agonizing anticipation by actually listening to him.)  "You're going to have to be more specific, Jim."

Kirk's brain (and his hard-on) tried to narrow it down.  He leaned in and tongued the tip of McCoy's cock.

"Figured that's what you'd want."

"I _am_ a whore, Bones. In fact," he kissed his way down to the base of McCoy's dick, "I think we're already established that I'm you and Spock's whore."

"Jim."

"Yes, Bones?"

"You need to remember that just as soon as Spock's done with you, your ass is mine.  You understand me, Jim?"

"I think so, Bones."  He ran the tip of his tongue up the length of McCoy's shaft, then lightly and carefully used his teeth on the edge of the head.  It wasn't that he objected to McCoy fucking him as soon as Spock was done--in fact he was looking forward to it--but Kirk had always been good with his mouth, and he wasn't sure if McCoy'd be able to hold out.  Thinking about Bones giving in and just telling him to start sucking--or just pushing his head down at an opportune moment--was a source of great satisfaction as he sucked at the tip of McCoy's dick.

McCoy and Spock both moved slightly, and when Kirk glanced up he could see McCoy licking and kissing one of Spock's hands (and based on what he was doing to that hand, there'd been some very lucky girls in McCoy's life).

Spock was moving faster and harder, and Kirk felt like he could come just from the way Spock would moan and McCoy would pant against Spock's hand (and what was worse was that he didn't)

Spock came, coating his back, and Kirk pressed himself against the bed while they switched places.

McCoy pulled him up and thrust in at the same time.  He didn't bother to start slow, and Kirk was ready to just be fucked. 

Spock lay on his stomach and just watched them, his hands folded under his head.  His face was a combination of what Kirk thought of as the "illogical humans" face and the way he looked at a difficult equation.

"Thank you, Bones," Kirk moaned as he widened his legs, desperate to take as much as he could after Spock's mostly restrained, teasing fuck.

"Untie him," said McCoy.

Kirk was stroking himself as soon as he got his right hand loose.  He didn't even know if Spock had gone back to studying them--all he could think about was his hand on his dick and McCoy moving in and out of him.

McCoy grabbed his wrist, and Kirk really hoped that low, pathetic whine had come from somebody else.  "Don't--"

"Jim--"

"Bones, please, I'm so close..."

"So'm I."  McCoy's voice was low and would've been ridiculously Georgian if Kirk didn't know exactly what that meant.  "Now quit arguing and move."

Kirk moved his hand, and let Bones stroke him as fast as he fucked him.  He moaned into the sheets and clutched Spock's hand as he came.

He was still trying to catch his breath and Spock was stroking his hair in an incredibly Vulcan way (he wasn't doing it _wrong_ exactly, but it was obvious he was actively performing a human gesture rather than just doing it) when McCoy came on him.

Spock looked at him with that fractional smile that meant he was amused, and Kirk realized that Bones had taken over his hand only so he'd be able to aim--Spock and McCoy had managed to cover most of his ass and back, and his own orgasm was currently drying on his stomach.

He was now considered property on at least four planets, and there were another six where it would be considered a severe breach of etiquette to speak directly to him.

"What're we going to do with you, Jim boy?" McCoy asked and kissed him for the first time all night. It was soft and affectionate--neither one of them had any hope of another round without either a dose of stimulants or a few hours' sleep--but Kirk eagerly returned it and the gentle Vulcan kiss Spock was giving him.

Kirk let himself be steered to the shower. Spock and McCoy took turns kissing him and scrubbing him, and Kirk was positive he hadn't learned his lesson. If anything, he was starting to consider pissing off Spock and McCoy more often.

Spock switched off the water. McCoy wrapped his arms around Kirk's waist and nuzzled his neck. "You want to go to bed, Jim?"

"What the hell did we just do?"

Kirk fell asleep between his friends, still smiling from their more than generous "punishment".

***

Although Kirk considered sickbay to be his favorite _Enterprise_ bar, he was a bit surprised by the line.

"Vaccinations?" he asked.

McCoy held up a tape. "_Operation Ejaculate_," he said. "James T. Cock's ongoing mission to suck off new life and new civilizations."

"I find that very misleading, Bones," said Kirk. "One Vulcan is hardly 'new civilizations'." McCoy shrugged. "How much?"

"Fifty credits."

"And how much to get my tapes back?"

McCoy leaned back in his chair and draped his leg over one of the arms. "I had a few ideas."

Kirk had never been able to understand how that was at all comfortable, but it didn't keep his eyes from going straight to Bones' crotch. "What about Spock?"

"Spock says he doesn't see the point in watching the tapes when he could just come over and screw."

"You know, we're very lucky, Bones."

"Now how badly do you want _The Enemy Within_ back?"

"Oh, badly, Bones. Very, very badly." Kirk leaned over the desk. "I'll do practically anything." (Eventually Bones would have to run out of ideas and just turn him over his knee. And Kirk would beg and plead and promise to be good all while grinding against McCoy on every slap.)

"Good, because I may have traded you to Scotty for a bottle of something."

"You...something?"

"It's...well, it's green," said McCoy. "And I assume it's alcoholic."

"You couldn't at least get something with a name?"

"Sorry, Jim, but apparently you're not worth a bottle of the true."

"Tell Scotty I'm hurt," said Kirk. "Surprised? No. But I am hurt. And I want you to know that fifty credits is absolutely outrageous."

"I'll keep that in mind, Jim," McCoy said as he took his credits.

***

Fifty credits was a bargain. Kirk hadn't even noticed he was being recorded, and Spock and McCoy had managed to get several different angles. He'd already watched a few sections multiple times--to truly appreciate the cinematography, of course.

His one objection was that there was a great deal more of Kirk than either one of them--although he did look quite appealing with his eyes wild with arousal and his lips slightly parted. All right, maybe he didn't object too much, especially as he admired his biceps and the way he sprawled out in front of Spock. (Spock's control had to be pure Vulcan discipline since Kirk didn't think he'd be able to resist an ass as good as his being offered to him. Kirk would've plunged into himself and probably have been done in a shamefully short amount of time. Fortunately he couldn't stay mad at someone who looked that good writhing under Spock and lapping at McCoy's dick.)

Similar to his edits to _The Day of the Dick_ and other cuts he'd made here and there, they'd edited around some of the little signs of tenderness they'd shown him--the way McCoy had smiled at him, Spock stroking his hair and the back of his hand, and possibly some he hadn't even noticed at the time since the camera tended to stay on him. And the tape ended before either McCoy or Spock kissed him and started being affectionate just for the sake of affection.

But that wasn't really something the crew needed to see, and McCoy seemed to be doing a good business just with Kirk on his knees, letting himself be used by two of his officers. Watching it--and how the hell did they get a shot of his face as he tried to suck them both at once?--Kirk was more than ready to be used the next time they all had the same off-duty shift. Or if there was a dull moment on an away mission (even if it was one of those four planets).

Clearly the lesson was not to sell porn tapes of his friends unless they were in on it and could help him with the set up and editing.


End file.
